What's worse, I felt like I had no one to turn to for support, no one to lean upon, no one to pour into me without judging, beating me up, and/or telling me to just "suck it up and be a man."
I didn't know what to do. I did a ton of praying and, as a pastor, I know and appreciate the power of prayer, but I felt that God was putting in me a burning desire for a specific kind of help.
I was inspired with the realization that I needed a SAFE SPACE, a COMMUNITY to surround me and lift me up, but none was readily available.
So I had to search long and hard. I had to get intentional and put in effort to find a place that would help pull me up out of the hell I had sunk into.
I had to pay literally thousands of dollars to join accountability groups of men that looked nothing like me.
And, let me tell you...IT WAS WORTH IT!